nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
