the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I need a burrito and a hug.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
