She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
