Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
