He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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