oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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