Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
