i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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