I love black thongs
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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