How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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