Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
