Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
