Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize