i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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