Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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