Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
