You're so nebulous sometimes
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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