Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
