Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Bring me that man meat
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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