So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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