Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
