So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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