That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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