He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize