he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
How external is "for external use only"?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
