Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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