pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
