i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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