He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
