If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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