singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
