Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
