I wannas sexs uuuuu
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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