does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
