what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
