Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
