I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
