i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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