I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
