No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
