The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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