I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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