People in love make me want to vomit
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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