i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
