after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize