Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
