You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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