Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
two words: eviction party
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Randomize
