is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He shit in the fireplace
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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