So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Enjoy the penises
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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