GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
