Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
