i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
