Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize