i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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