Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
