You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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