I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
