Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
