Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
