im holly from the hills drunk
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
