Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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