i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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