Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
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