I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I cut my penus on the lid.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
