remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
