I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
