Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
