I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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