dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
