You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
