I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize