What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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