I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
