Sponge bath it is.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
