There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I still have a little drunk in my system
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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